Prophet, priest, Messiah? Simon didn’t know. He did know with Jesus, he was in the presence of Godliness. That meant he was out of place.
Simon followed the traditions of their people, albeit a bit more loosely than Andrew. He envied his brother’s devotion to God. It seemed to give him the purpose Simon was seeking himself. He believed in God. He just couldn’t believe God would accept a man like him. Where pride tells a man, he does not need God, guilt tells a man, he does not matter to God. Both are lies.
There had to be more to life than fishing. A better reason to get up each day than whatever prosperity could be had catching a few more fish. When Simon’s wife Miriam died along with their child, just before giving birth, the emptiness increased and overwhelmed him. Religious leaders, Pharisees, and teachers offered no hope — no answers, for themselves or Simon. He had no respect for them. They were selling something they didn’t own. Andrew followed John the Baptist, who called for repentance. Change was something Simon wanted and needed, but not something he knew how to do. He could not fix himself no matter how much effort he put into it. He didn’t even know how exactly he was broken. He only knew he was. What he needed was a new life.
Jesus was different from the rest, not just a seeker like Andrew, certainly not a discouraged one who’d given up, like Simon himself had become. Being with Jesus, Simon had never felt so unworthy and yet so welcome. Jesus seemed to be the source of what they sought. His words rang with authority. There was power. Was He the Messiah? Simon didn’t pretend to know yet, but Jesus had answers, and just maybe – maybe He was the answer.
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